Blind Date Disaster: When My Three-Year Rule Sent Him Running

As a neurologist, my life is a whirlwind of patients, charts, and endless rounds. My demanding job leaves little time for romance, but when my cheerful coworker Nathan sets me up on a blind date with Jake, I feel a spark of hope.

The evening starts off perfectly. Jake is kind, funny, and easy to talk to. We laugh and chat over wine and dinner, and I find myself feeling more and more charmed by him. But things take a drastic turn when I share my three-year rule.

I explain to Jake that I believe in building a strong foundation in a relationship. I think it’s essential to take time to get to know someone, to date seriously for a year, and then live together for another year and a half before considering engagement or marriage. Jake’s reaction is immediate and intense. He frowns, crosses his arms, and abruptly calls the waitress for the check.

Two professionals laughing and chatting | Source: Midjourney

“What’s wrong?” I ask, feeling a knot form in my stomach. But Jake doesn’t bother to answer. He pays and walks out of the restaurant without a glance back, leaving me stunned and hurt.

Later, I send him a message, asking why he left so suddenly. His response is curt and dismissive. He tells me I’m indecisive and not serious about what I want, and then blocks me.

I’m left reeling, wondering what I did wrong. Was my three-year rule really that strange? Should I have kept it to myself? I confide in my best friend Sophie, who reassures me that being honest about my expectations is important.

“If he couldn’t handle that, it’s his loss,” she says firmly. Her words comfort me, but I still can’t shake the feeling that I’m somehow flawed for having a clear idea of what I want in a relationship.

As I reflect on the disastrous date, I realize that being true to myself is essential. I won’t apologize for having a three-year rule or for being upfront about my expectations. If Jake couldn’t appreciate that, then he wasn’t the right guy for me.

But the question still lingers: is my three-year rule really that weird?

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